Category: Uncategorized

Two of the best books I read in 2020 dealt with the same topic – leadership. “The Mask of Command” by John Keegan examines the way generals have led troops through changes in military technology. Doris Kearns Goodwin’s “Leadership: In Turbulent Times” looks at US Presidential response in time of crisis to try and understand the characteristics that make an effective leader. Both chose four exemplars to focus their discussion.  I cannot recommend either book too highly. 

Keegan was interested in how the leaders he discussed either adapted, or failed to adapt, to the transformation of warfare. Central to their success was the ability to command loyalty, understand the logistics of war in their time and their willingness to take risks. In discussing Hitler as a military leader, Keegan also spent significant time highlighting where his leadership failed, particularly through an unwillingness to listen to others, a need to surround himself with sycophants who would not challenge his decisions and an inability to honestly reassess his own decisions. 

Goodwin had a much broader agenda. She clearly was not only looking back at the Presidents that she was covering, but also at the current occupant of the White House. The characteristics she emphasizes in managing crises are empathy, resilience, the ability to communicate, openness and the willingness to step back and reflect. For Goodwin, just having these traits would not make someone a great leader. A true leader would also need a driving ambition and a sense of moral purpose.     

Goodwin undoubtedly wants her readers to look at Donald Trump (and find him lacking). It is not as simple as she would like. As the Trump presidency fades into the night, we can start to look at him objectively and assess him as a leader over and apart from the policies he implemented. What was it about Donald Trump that drew so many to him, and made so many despise him?  

Trump’s leadership style is unique in American political history, at least as far as I can tell. He attacks anyone and everyone who crosses him even slightly in a never-ending stream of vitriol. It is not only that such critics are wrong, they are stupid, vile, corrupt, and worse. We have had plenty of politicians who did not shy away from verbal fisticuffs, but we have never had a President or other political leader who so consistently and relentlessly vilifies his opponents. It is the essence of his leadership style. 

We have to admit to ourselves that this modus operandi can be effective. Many of Donald Trump’s supporters are rabid in their devotion, and his unwillingness to back down on anything is a big reason why. His non-stop attacks make him appear strong. He is the opposite of the politician who tries to please everyone (i.e. find consensus), and his candor is admired, especially since his supporters generally agree with him regarding those he vilifies.  

Conventional wisdom prior to Trump was that while such an attacking style could work to gather a core, it could not attract wide support. Trump proved that conventional wisdom wrong. He was able to maintain this relentlessly attacking mode and still appeal to a broad section of the electorate. This means that we cannot dismiss the attraction of this approach.  

Trump’s ability to maintain this leadership style was aided by the fact that the only significant crises we had during the first three years of his presidency were political crises – the Russian interference investigation, the constitutionality of the Muslim ban, the funding of the border wall, for example. We were involved in military operations in Afghanistan and the middle east, but had been there for years. The economy was strong and unemployment was low. Any other politician would have simply touted those successes and ignored his or her detractors, but that is not Trump. His never-ending attacks made it seem that we were living amid constant crises, which served to validate his harsh rhetoric. 

In this last year we have seen the limitations of this leadership style. The COVID epidemic was not one that could be belittled away. Trump did try, labeling COVID as the Kung Flu , blaming Democrats and the media for the continuing spread, lambasting the CDC for their dire projections. However, COVID was immune to these attacks and continued to develop unabated.  

What was needed to face this crisis, as with most national crises, was a unity of purpose. But it is impossible to create that unity when you have created an unadulterated atmosphere of antagonism. Trump may have drawn supporters by his attacks, but he alienated just as many, if not more, just because of that style.  

Trump never even tried to unify the country to respond to COVID. He would have had to put aside his attacks and seek broad consensus, draw together disparate groups and articulate a shared vision for that to happen. It would have been difficult in light of the rhetoric of the prior three years. More importantly, it would have been contrary to his leadership instincts, and it is hard to envision him putting those instincts aside. 

The COVID crisis also brought to the fore another flaw in the Trump leadership style. When you attack in such stark terms, you start to believe your own rhetoric, no matter how outlandish. The positive feedback he got from his rallies, the supportive media and ever smaller circle of advisors only reinforced in his mind that he was correct in castigating his opponents. It would almost have been traitorous to seek consensus with the like of those who were so abhorrent. 

This insularity also can lead to a misjudgment of strength, which is what I think led to January 6. When all you listen to are the cheers, you can fool yourself into believing that there are many more who not only agree that your opponents are the scum of the earth, but are willing to go to any lengths to eliminate them.  You fail to see that for most there is a limit, at least in this country.        

It is almost axiomatic to say that unity is impossible in the country today, but I think that is only true to a certain extent. This country has always been divided, but has yet been able to move in a common direction in times of crises. The Great Depression and WWII are prime examples of this. That does not mean that there were no dissenters, but a general consensus was achieved and the country acted.  

We have also been able to remake the basic assumptions of the relationship between the government and the American people despite deep divisions on the wisdom of those changes. We did it in at the turn of the century with antitrust and other “progressive” reforms, at the time of the Great Depression with economic regulation and in the 1960’s with civil rights reform and the Great Society programs.  

Maybe I am naïve, but I still think that it is possible to do this again with the right kind of leadership. But it cannot happen with a purely negative approach. It is not enough to castigate. We cannot succeed if we view this as purely an us versus them scenario, as much as it has seemed that way over the last four years. We also have to project a positive vision of the future if we want to effect change. A tall task, but I think we are up to it.  

Last night I watched a double feature. First was the Talking Heads movie, Stop Making Sense, one of my favorites. We followed that with David Byrne’s American Utopia, his Broadway show coming out of his album by the same name. (We saw the show when it was in Philly back in 2018). Two remarkable performances spanning 35 years.  

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As I sat there entranced first by a young David Byrne showing so much energy, imagination and intensity, and then by a much older David Byrne, not quite as agile, but still showing that same exuberance and creativity, the thought crossed my mind that right now he was one of my heroes. I don’t say that lightly. Heroes are hard to come by and generally let you down. But I am at a time in my life where I welcome some new heroes for inspiration. 

When I was growing up my heroes were sports figures. Initially it was Pete Rose, Bobby Murcer and Roger Staubach (sad, but true, fellow Eagle fans). I would always check to see how they had performed in their most recent game, what others were saying about them, and would go out of my way to watch them play when I could. However, by the time I was 12 or 13 it became clear even to me that I was more of a Bob Ueker than a Bob Gibson, and as much as I would want to emulate athletes, it just wasn’t going to happen. 

It was easy to shift from athletes to movie stars. After all, I wasted way too much of my time watching TV. I was struck by the steely, suave actors. My favorites were Humphrey Bogart and Errol Flynn. (“Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, she walks into mine…”). Again, however, reality struck hard. I was forced to admit that Maxwell Smart would have been a more apt role model for me than any of those Hollywood tough guys. 

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Like most people I came to that point in my life where heroes were no longer relevant. After all, I was just trying to survive in the work world and raise a family. Sure, there were a lot of people that I admired greatly over the years. People like Bobby Kennedy, at least as portrayed by Athur Schlesinger in Robert Kennedy and his Times. Or James Baldwin, after watching I am Not Your Negro, and reading a number of his books. Still, it made no sense to raise these people to hero status. It wasn’t as if I was anywhere near their path in life. 

So why would I want to go back to heroes now, and why would David Bryne, of all people, fit that mold? I think that it is because I have moved into a new phase of life, much as I did 37 years ago when I first started working, and I would like some guidance to figure out what that means. All of a sudden I have time on my hands that I never had before. There are a lot of options, but not much clear direction. A hero could help guide the way. 

To understand how that relates to David Byrne I have to go back to American Utopia.  David Byrne has put together a show that is clearly part of his on-going, and apparently never-ending, attempt to understand the human condition. Many of the songs in the show are from the Talking Heads days, but they are all reimagined, not regurgitated. They blend well with the new material to create something that is a whole concept. Plus, he stages the music brilliantly, freeing himself and the band from wires and amps, so that everyone can move fluidly around the stage, interacting, overlapping, engaging. 

What inspires me about this is how David Byrne is not content to rest on his many laurels. He could easily have gone out, put on the Big Suit once again, and redone the Talking Heads greatest hits. Everyone would have loved it, including me. But at 68 that was not enough. He wanted to dig deeper, stretch further, push the boundaries, risking that the audience would just sit on their hands waiting for the next hit to come along. That is heroic. 

There are others that continue their creativity and exploration when it would be easier to sit back. Robert Plant was willing to alienate his hard rock fans by going in a different direction, and the result was the incredible Band of Joy albums, and his collaboration with Alison Krause. Phillip Roth wrote two of his most memorable books, American Pastoral and The Human Stain, after he turned 60, like David Byrne trying to make sense of this country, and the people in it. Jane Goodall continues her advocacy for animals and the environment, pledging last year to plant 5 million trees, part of the 1 trillion tree initiative.  

There are many more out there doing small and large things that keep them looking ahead instead of looking back. They have begun my touchstones as I figure out what to do with the rest of my life, a question I haven’t had to consider since I was 22. As David Byrne would say, “We’re on a road to nowhere, Come on inside. Takin’ that ride to nowhere, We’ll take that ride. I’m feelin’ okay this mornin’. And you know, We’re on a road to paradise. Here we go, here we go.” 

The New Year’s Eve/New Year holiday has always been, to my mind, the poor step child of holidays. It is played up as a wonderful excuse to let loose, have fun and celebrate the passing of the old year and the promise of the new. In my experience, it has been anything but that. 

I should start out by saying that my parents had New Year’s Eve down pat. Year after year they got together with the same group of church friends and had an alcohol-free good time. They ate well, played games and laughed a lot. It was the one night of the year that they would come strolling in at 3 or 4 in the morning.  

Silly me thought that was the way it should be. When I got into high school the kids of that church group would get together as well. While it was an OK time, we inevitably ended a lot earlier than the old folks and never seemed able to match their high spirits.

It all went downhill from there. I don’t remember what I did on most New Year’s Eve nights over the years. I do remember one night when my South Carolina “friends” plied me with shots of Jack Daniels, which I was drinking on an empty stomach, by telling me that they had all done shots when I was out of the room. Let’s just say that the results were not pretty. 

There were some good New Year’s Eve parties at the Broder/Bernstein home in Mount Airy with plenty of good food. That being said, I definitely paid the next day for eating too many of the excellent Broder hot wings, and I had a much stronger stomach back then than I do now.  

One year Julie and I went to one of the New Year’s Eve extravaganzas which promised a buffet dinner, live music, a comedian and complimentary champagne. The food was terrible and the live music was generic. The comedian, though, was the worst. He went around the room asking people what they did, but then had no quips to follow it up. He asked either Julie or I what we did and whoever was asked answered that they were a lawyer AND HE COULD NOT COME UP WITH A LAWYER JOKE!!!!! You should not be allowed to call yourself a comedian if you can’t even rag on lawyers. (Q. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? A. A vampire only sucks blood at night). We drank our complimentary glass of flat “champagne” at midnight and were out of there by 12:15.  

Once we had kids and they were old enough to want to stay up until midnight on New Year’s Eve we would make appetizers and plan a movie marathon, which my sister seems to be able to pull off pretty well. Inevitably, by 11:30 a couple of the kids has wandered off to bed and the rest were asleep, along with Julie. I would wake everyone up around 11:55 to watch the ball drop, and then we trudged upstairs to call it a night. Not exactly a New Year’s Rockin Eve!!! 

Last year Max, Will and I were in Seoul, South Korea for the New Year (back in ancient times when you could travel). Max and I made the mistake of going to the New Year’s Eve festivities there because we heard about a tradition of ringing a huge bell 33 times to welcome in the new year. It was just as jammed as New York is, if not more so. We heard a K-Pop band, saw people making speeches we could not hear, and would not have understood if we did, but didn’t hear the bell. We saw them strike it, but the sound did not carry. At least on the way back to the hotel we ran into a celebration at a Buddhist temple which was very cool.  

Julie and Calvin were jam packed into Red Square in Moscow with the Boy’s Choir. Apparently the Russians like to welcome the new year in by standing cheek to jowl as well, though they did have a terrific firework display from what I was told. I am not sure that Julie saw it as she was running around trying to locate some wandering choir boys. It wouldn’t be a KSB tour without some drama.  

Sum it all up and you have a pretty forgetful holiday that we remember every year. I’m not sure what this year holds, but hopefully we at least make it to midnight. More importantly, here’s wishing everyone out there a very Happy New Year!!!!   

I know that everyone has holiday rituals that stem from childhood and are so deeply ingrained they are not even considered. One of the most lasting for me are holiday movies. I know that I am not alone. 

This was really brought home to me last night when I watched “It’s a Wonderful Life”, which I hadn’t seen in a couple of years. It was so satisfying that I realized how much a part of the season it was for me. When I was growing up this movie was in the public domain and so was on constantly during the holiday season. I usually caught at least parts of the movie 3 or 4 times through the month of December, and sat down to see the entire movie once or twice. Every time I would choke up at the ending (“Attaboy Clarence!”). 

Other Christmas movies or shows were also a must. I had to watch “A Christmas Carol” – the Alister Sim version of course (“There’s more of gravy than of grave about you, whatever you are!”). I would plan for “A Charlie Brown Christmas” and the original “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” on network TV. Also, for some reason, the Bass and Rankin “Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town” was on the list. I think it was the Burgermeister Meisterburger.   

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There are plenty of others that, while not essential, entered the canon in recent years. “Elf” is incredibly funny, and really caught me by surprise when I first saw it in the theaters (have I said recently how much I miss theaters?).  For Julie it’s “Love Actually”. And a family favorite is “The Muppets Christmas Carol” (“We’re Marley and Marley Whoooooo!!!”). But for me the classics cannot be replaced.  

 

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All of this is what makes the holiday season so different. It is not just the enjoyment of what you are doing that year, but a reflection of what you have been doing your whole life. It is as much nostalgia as it is present reality. While living your entire life in the past is probably not a good idea, finding some time every year to wallow in the memories is healthy, and nothing gives you the chance to do that like the holidays.  

So, whatever your holiday rituals – whether its movies, music (viva Vince Guaraldi), decorations (a Starr on the tree), presents, or food (let’s not forget the food!!!!!) – enjoy the next few days and relish the season.  

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Happy Holidays!!!!!!!!!!

One of the really nice things about working at home during the pandemic, and then retirement, has been that it really let me be consistent in doing something physical every day. I have gone through spurts in my life where I have been getting regular exercise, but I finally feel like it is part of my everyday existence. That includes a good bit of walking, both around the neighborhood and in local parks. Since walking can be very boring, this has led me to podcasts. 

I know how silly it is to say that I have entered the podcast world years after it became hip, but it just didn’t fit until now. When I could have listened to podcasts, I read, like on the train, and reading always came first (and still does). But it’s very difficult to read a book and walk at the same time, or at least do so without walking into something (and don’t think that I haven’t done that). So I started listening to podcasts. 

Part of the reason I was resistant to podcasts was that I hadn’t been drawn to what I had heard. My family have been podcasters (is that a word?) for years, and so I would hear what they followed when we were travelling. While there were many enjoyable parts to these podcasts (like, My Brother, My Brother and Me, Comedy Bang Bang, Hollywood Handbook) too often it struck me as people laughing at their own jokes, and laughing much louder than was warranted. I didn’t hear anything that made me want to listen on a regular basis. 

Julie had, however, told me about an episode of the podcast Mobituaries by Mo Rocca, who I knew from the Daily Show, that talked about the sudden end of the career of comedian Vaughn Meader. I remembered hearing Meader’s album parodying the Kennedy family, though I was too young to appreciate it when it first came out, and knew it had been a huge hit (Won Grammy for Album of the Year in 1963. Really, it did). What I didn’t know, though I could have guessed it, was how his career came to a full stop on November 22, 1963. The story of his ultimately unsuccessful struggles to reshape his career, which I listened to while on a long delay in the Boston airport, was interesting and entertaining.  

Years later when I decided that I needed to do something when walking, I came back to Mobituaries. Rocca’s in depth look at people or events that had been significant at the time, but then faded into memory were always engrossing. My walks went quickly as I was drawn into the fates of Chang and Eng, the cojoined Siamese twins (between them they had 21 kids, 11 of them Chang’s, 10 of them Eng’s. Try to get you head, or heads as the case may be, around that) or learning about the tortured life of Thomas Paine, or television’s Rural Purge of the late 1960’s, or the disappearance of the first Darrin on Bewitched (the only real Darrin in my book!!!).  

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I had found my niche. I realized that I liked history, cultural or otherwise, that goes into some depth, makes me laugh every now and then and puts things into the context of what else is going on in the world at the time. That’s not too much to ask, is it?     

All of that led me to Malcolm Gladwell’s Revisionist History. I want to be Malcolm Gladwell (except for the goofy hair, though looking at mine right now you might say that I am one to talk – You choose). As far as I can tell, Gladwell dives into whatever strikes his fancy, which is a lot, has the pull to talk to anyone he wants on the subject and people to help research and find obscure news reel or oral histories to bring the topic to life.

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It’s taken him (and me) from Wilt Chamberlin’s free throw shooting (underhand is fine, Wilt), to the way universities misevaluate potential students (don’t get me on a rant about college essays), to the tragic impact of Brown vs. Board of Education on black teachers and beyond.  

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But I’m hitting the wall on Malcolm. Plus, his season 5 has been his weakest (Four episodes on “Bombs Away” Curtis LeMay? Please!!!). I need to expand my horizons. Find new exciting podcasts. Boldly go where no other podcaster has gone before (Sorry, I got carried away).

Any other podcasters out there? You have my criteria. Any thoughts on what I should listen to now? I welcome your suggestions.    

Be afraid, be very afraid. I have decided to do something that I never thought I would do. I have decided to take over control of our kitchen. (Pause for a gasp from the crowd).  

Anyone who knows me, knows how silly an idea this is. I have absolutely no feel for cooking. None at all. I can follow a recipe, kind of. I get very flustered when I have to juggle two or three things cooking at once, or time when something goes in or comes out of the oven. Spices scare me. (I have no idea what adding Allspice or turmeric does. Sweet, spicy, sour? Your guess is as good as mine).  

I never really saw myself doing this. When people asked me how I was going to spend my time when I retired, cooking was not on the list. Oh, I knew that with Julie still working, and with her schedule, I would have to put something together to eat many nights, but actually cook? No, not me.  

So, what has prompted this radical shift? Reality has taken over. With a houseful again it just doesn’t work to start thinking about dinner at 5:30. The truth is that everyone else here is a lot busier than I am during the day. Plus, I am really tired of giving that blank stare when someone asks me, “What are we doing for dinner tonight?” The bottom line is that it was time to make a plan!!!! 

We tried a calendar, but that really wasn’t working. Too many empty dates. Max suggested that we decide over dinner who will cook the next night, but that seemed like it was going to get us into an endless round of discussions, and we have enough of those already. There was just nothing to do, but for me to make sure that there is something decent is on the table every night.

 Calvin actually started the process when he cleaned out our spice cupboard. It’s amazing how much room you have when you toss items that are long expired. (By the way, is Onion Salt with an expiration date of February 2007 still good?) Julie helped by passing along an article on the well-stocked pantry. Max and Will pitched in by helping me come up with a list of quick, easy to make staple dishes that can be thrown together on those nights when I am too lazy to think very far ahead (and we know that there will be plenty of those nights). 

 

I took my own first step by making an inventory of what we have, throwing out things that we will never eat (“Oh My Gouda Moon Cheese” nuggets anyone?) and making a list of what we don’t have that we should. Next, I have mapped out what we will eat through the rest of the week (tonight is spaghetti in a spicy cream tomato sauce – Max Cooking). Last, but not least, is to cook as necessary!! 

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I should be honest here. I will have plenty of help cooking. All of the kids, and Julie, will step up and cook if they have a night free (last night Cal made a mean Shakouka). Also, once people know what we are having they are happy to contribute, or even take over, which is a good thing because they are all better cooks than I am (Max is king of the stir-fry and Will owns shrimp). Does my filling in on the nights when they are unavailable make me the head chef? No, (emphatically) it does not. However, I will make dinner when needed and I will decide what I am cooking before 6:00 that evening!!!  

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So, we see again that there is no way to know on what paths life leads you. You think that you have it all worked out. You think that you know what you’ll spend your time doing, and what you will avoid. Then you hear that “ahem” in the back of your your head telling you that you know nothing (Jon Snow) and you push blindly on ahead. You never know, I might be taking notes while watching Iron Chef soon, but I wouldn’t hold your breath.  

With the loss of Aster just over a year ago family holidays have lost some of their luster. They are impossible to face without mixed feelings. On the one hand the ability to get together, even on the limited basis that we are doing it this year, has to be appreciated and honored. It is a very good thing. On the other hand, the gap at the table is even more noticeable. 

All that being said, while a year does not lessen the pain, it does increase the perspective. You realize that suffering loss is part of the human condition, and that you are not alone in your grief. You realize that life must go on. That there are obligations that must be met. That there are challenges to deal with. That there is laughter yet to be had.   

This is especially true at Thanksgiving, which has always been a favorite holiday. It is the least baggage laden of days we celebrate. It doesn’t have the gift buying pressures of Christmas, the sense of New Years that there is somewhere a better party that I should be at, the need for a clever costume at Halloween. It is just a chance to get together with family, eat too much, drink a bit and laugh over old times and new. What could be better than that? 

Also, with other holidays it’s easy to forget why we even celebrate them. With “Thanks Giving” that is not possible. You have to reflect on everything you have, how it’s more than you could ever have hoped for, and how it’s more than you really deserve. Like most people, I could list out the many things that I am thankful for, but that would be both boring and unnecessary. What’s important is that I recognize and appreciate the items on the list, and Thanksgiving demands that I do that. 

This Thanksgiving will have more than a tinge of sadness in it, to put it mildly, but it will also have a very real sense that there is so much that life has given me and that there is so much more to look forward to. So, I say without a hint of irony or sarcasm, Have A Very Happy Thanksgiving!!!!     

Round 1  

For 200 Mongolian Togrog: 

He had all the answers, but you had to know the questions (and no, it is not my Uncle Irving). 

For 400 Mauritanian Ouguiya: 

He made us Jump with his great guitar solos, but might now be Dancing with the Devil.  

For 600 Malaysian Ringgit: 

He came from Philadelphia, but that didn’t stop this Black Mamba from striking at us again, and again, and again.  

For 800 Lao Kip: 

She was briefly James Bond’s wife, but Avenged that death many times before succumbing to the Queen’s Justice.  

For 1000 Kazakhstani Tenge: 

Truly a Justice for all.  

Double Jeopardy 

For 400 Haitian Gourde: 

Baseball actually lowered the freaking mound because he was so dominant!!!!! 

For 800 Gambian Dalasi: 

As leader of his Group, he proclaimed I’m a Man, but acknowledged he needed someone to Gimme Some Lovin. 

For 1200 Georgian Lari: 

He chronicled A Drinking Life and everything else that happened in New York City for over 50 years. 

For 1600 Nicaraguan Cordoba: 

He walked Paths of Glory and went 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea and always came back up with that chin intact, still yelling “I am Spartacus!!!!” 

For 2000 Venezuelan Bolivar Soberano:  

He marched across the bridge leading out of Selma and never stopped marching. 

A Video Final Jeopardy:    

After too many vodka martinis, shaken, not stirred, this iconic actor considered his role as Zed in Zardoz his crowning achievement (or at least I assume he did). (Click on the link).  

Answers (or are they Questions?) (No Peaking): 

Round 1 

1. Who is Alex Trebek? 

2. Who is Eddie Van Halen? 

3. Who is Kobe Bryant? 

4. Who is Diana Rigg? 

5. Who is Ruth Bader Ginsburg? 

Double Jeopardy 

1. Who is Bob Gibson? 

2. Who is Spencer Davis? 

3. Who is Pete Hamill? 

4. Who is Kirk Douglas? 

5. Who is John Lewis? 

Final Jeopardy –

Who is Sean Connery?