On March 10, 2020, I sat down with my supervisor at Chubb, Josh Schwartz, to discuss Chubb’s plan for dealing with the COVID pandemic. Chubb had decided to divide employees into “A”, “B” and “C” buckets, with each tranche coming into the office on alternating days. However, since I was over 60 years old, I was to work from home. I remember thinking how bizarre this was, and that we could be out until at least (gasp) June!!!!
You would think that with all of the SciFi that I read I would have had a better idea as to what was coming. However, at that time there were only pockets of cases. As of March 10, according to Johns Hopkins, there were 760 confirmed coronavirus cases in the United States and 23 attributed deaths. In a country of 328 million that was a drop in the bucket. Plus, we had seen global pandemics before (SARS, Ebola, swine flu) that had not impacted life here in the good old U.S. of A. My mind simply could not comprehend that this would continue through the year and into the next.
Many things have changed over the last year, not the least of which is the loss of the naivete with which I entered into this mess. Intellectually I knew that something like this could happen, and yet in my gut I didn’t believe that it would. There was no reason for that misplaced optimism. Our vulnerability was as clear as the ice floating in my bourbon, but I was too wrapped up with the daily taste of life to notice it (I am taking an on-line course that suggests I should use more similes – not sure I’m sold).
That being said, can I really complain about this past year? Some people close to me have lost loved ones, and that is incredibly sad, but my immediate family has been relatively healthy. Quarantining has not been an issue. I live in a big house with every comfort I could want. My kids have been able to move forward with their lives, though maybe not quite as they expected. Julie has had more than her share of challenges with the choir, but in some weird way that makes their accomplishments (the National Anthem at the DNC, the Christmas Day opening on the Today show, backing vocals for the Demi Lovato video at the Biden inauguration, among others) that much more special.
In fact, I have started to believe that I have gotten a bit too comfortable. One of the first things I learned when I started working from home last March, is how much I need a routine, so I quickly established times that I would get up, sign on to my computer, and shut it off for the day. Even after I stopped working, I settled into a routine, though not as strict, and I haven’t really deviated from it in the last six months.
There are definitely things that I miss – getting together with friends, going into the City for a play or dinner at a nice restaurant, going to a movie, or a Sixers game – but I can’t say that I feel that my life has been particularly diminished. To some extent I am more in touch with people than when I was commuting into the office (love the weekly Law School Zoom). I really don’t mind watching movies or sporting events on TV. And while I have not had what I could call a great meal in months, I am eating better on a daily basis than I have in a long time.
Maybe it’s because we have had some nicer weather recently, but it has struck me what a trap this is. It is too easy to settle into a lifestyle that has few challenges, few surprises and few events that will take me out of my comfort zone. I could float along like this for quite some time, pandemic or no pandemic. I could become Nicholas Cage, being offered another mediocre movie, and saying sure, why not (another simile – my on-line teacher would be so proud).
I am very aware that this is a first world problem, and a privileged first world problem at that. Most people are not as lucky as I am. It is hard for me to fathom how people with multiple school age (or younger) children are getting through this, let alone people who live in cramped quarters, or in bad domestic situations. It’s why I try not and judge too harshly those people who feel the need to go out in the world, even if it’s not the best pandemic choice (unless they aren’t wearing a mask).
Still, it is my problem. I need this pandemic to end, not only physically, but mentally. I need to move on from this nest and back into a wider world. I need to reject any idea of this being a “new normal” (how I hate that phrase), and see this as just a temporary shift onto a bizarre, sidetrack before emerging back on the main path of life.
I do think that some of these changes will be permanent (to the extent anything is permanent). Masks will be a lot more common, especially on public transportation. Some people will go back into their offices, but many will not, and who knows how that will change cities. Sporting events will fill up again quickly (except maybe for the Phillies, though that has little to do with COVID), but I am not so sure about movie theaters. We will go back to restaurants, because who can resist a good meal, but we won’t be as sanguine about sitting cheek to jowl with someone chomping away on ribs. In fact, I think we will be leerier of crowds generally, viewing the shoulder-to-shoulder experience as being something a bit more sinister than inconvenient.
Hopefully there will be some positive changes coming out of this as well. Maybe we will continue to use technology to truly stay in touch with people, and not just for annual birthday greetings and snarky comments. Maybe we will finally face up to the fact that wide access to quality health care is good for everyone. Maybe we will plan ahead so we are better prepared next time (because there will be a next time). Maybe that planning will make sure that the more vulnerable among us don’t get hit so hard. Maybe…Maybe…
In the meantime, it’s time to step out in the cool spring air and think again about the broader world that’s out there. It’s time to think about the plethora of possibilities once the vaccine has been distributed, and we can mingle. It’s time to put the false comforts of the quarantine behind us, and look forward to a more fulfilling future. Happy Anniversary…and Good Riddance!!!