The Tao of Cooking

Over the last three months I have “cooked” more than I did in the previous 62 years. Sad, but true. That does not mean that I did not put food on the table before this (grilled brats with frozen perogies and microwaved corn, a favorite). However, except for a brief foray with Blue Apron, I rarely sat down with a recipe and put together a meal from scratch.  

This should probably stop me from doing what I am about to do, but here goes. In my short time as a chef (that term cannot be used more loosely) I realized that lessons in cooking mirror lessons in life. I am sure that this is not original and you could find similar lists all over the internet and in bookstores, but this is mine. (Disclaimer – While I did cook all of the dishes referenced below, none came out looking near as pretty as the inserted pictures). 

1. Preparation is the key to serenity (to the extent there can be serenity. See No. 7). I quickly learned that it is essential to get all of my ingredients together before I start, or I will find myself running around like a mad man searching for the Turmeric in the spice cabinet, or have to quickly chop an onion, especially if I am cooking something with a lot of ingredients like Shrimp Creole. The same was true when I had a project for work, or when I have something I want to accomplish around the house. A little bit of time at the front end saves a lot of angst going forward. 

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2. You’re going to make a mess, so don’t sweat it.  I went into this thinking that I could limit the number of bowls or utensils I used and make my life easier on the back end, but I realized that trying to do that just made cooking more difficult. If another bowl is needed, use it. If another pot will help, just accept that it will take a few minutes longer to clean up. Similarly, most things in life are not neat and clean, and when we try to make them so we end up creating more of a headache. Whether it’s rereading something you have written two or three times to make sure that it’s right, or marking a wall where you want to hang a picture, it’s ultimately worth it to avoid cutting corners. 

3. Don’t be afraid to ask questions. This is a whole new world. I need help to find good recipes (thanks TR). Plus, there are terms being thrown around that I just don’t understand. (How do you poach meat? What is Lemon Zest? A Lemon with gusto? Yes, if you’re cooking Prosciutto Wrapped Cod). The internet is an incredible source, but sometimes you just need a human being to really understand the difference, say, between garlic powder and garlic salt (very little from what I can tell). I wish I had accepted this lesson earlier in life. It would have saved me a lot of wrong turns. Luckily, the older I get the more I realize I don’t know, so I have gotten better at admitting my ignorance and looking for help.  

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4. There is a substitute for everything (almost). Most cookbook authors feel a need to throw ingredients into their recipes that are obscure, at least when you do most of your shopping at Acme. When I started this journey, I thought I would have to go from store to store to find Anaheim chilis or Nigella seeds so that the African Red Bean and Sweet Potato Stew would not be ruined. That is rarely true. Usually there is something available that works just as well (poblano’s for Anaheim; cumin seeds for Nigella). Similarly, we really don’t need a Lexus to be happy, or the Grand Canyon to enjoy a hike. Those things are great if available, but we can cut ourselves off to so much of worth if we always hold out for perfection.   

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5. Experts like to make things more difficult than they need to be. A corollary to No. 4, is that those who write cookbooks feel a need to show their superiority by throwing in a hard-to-find ingredient or technique that is unnecessarily complicated. This is where Nos. 2 and 3 becomes crucial. No, you don’t need cardamom seeds from black pods to make a Punjabi Masala for the Cashew Chicken in a Cilantro Sauce, nor do you have to grind your spices in a spice grinder. Pre-ground will do. We all have this need to make everything complicated, probably to massage our egos. But the true expert is the one who can explain the complex in easy-to-understand terms. They are the ones to seek out.     

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6. Timing is everything. Timing is overrated. It is crucial in cooking to properly time things. You don’t want to overcook or undercook. When you are combining multiple dishes, this means that you need to coordinate. By the same token, you can’t be a slave to the time listed in the recipe. You have to pay attention to how things look, be willing to accept that the timing is really a guideline or the Chicken Simmered in Spicy Tomato Sauce will be undercooked, even if you cooked as long as they said you should. This is really hard for me. I inherited from my father a phobia about time (thanks Dad). It’s not that I just hate being late, it physically affects me. I have had to learn that time is not sacrosanct, and that a few minutes here or there don’t really matter. I am still working on this one.  

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7. At some point you will get agitated, so just accept it.  Unless you are making a simple one dish meal, and often even then, you will have to juggle making two or three things at once. When that happens, the blood pressure will rise, the palms will sweat, the urge to curse will overtake you. Just let it out, and then move on. Keeping No. 6 in mind helps. Ultimately, it’s OK if the onions are softening for an extra few minutes. It’s OK if the rice is done, but you still have 10 minutes on the Jambalaya. It will all work out. This holds true for most things in life, but it doesn’t mean that we can avoid the angst. As my kids will tell you, I have a long way to go on this life lesson!!! 

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8. Don’t fear the spice. I am by nature a cautious person, so when a recipe for Tart-Hot Beef with Malt Vinegar and Cayenne calls for 6 cayenne chilis that is what I put in. But my family likes heat, so by slavishly following the recipe what comes out is often bland by our tastes. I had to learn to take risks and increase the spice in most cases. This is not easy for me. I generally follow the rules and hesitate to stray outside the lines. However, sometimes it’s just necessary to do that to get the most out of life. You have to be willing to go off the well-trod path, look for the local restaurant others avoid or engage with people who are different than you. It usually pays off, so embrace the spice. 

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9. It doesn’t have to be great to be good. I will never be a great cook. My palate is not that discriminating. I struggle to tell one flavor from another. I can’t tell a good recipe just by reading it (curse you Betty Crocker!!). I will improve over time, but Guy Fieri has no worries here. That does not mean that most of what I put together has not been pretty flavorful. Yes, the Herb-Crusted Salmon was too salty, but it was still tasty (at least for most of us), especially with the asparagus and risotto. The search for perfection is a trap. It can stop you from doing anything, knowing that others can do it better. But generally, if you give something your best shot, things will turn out pretty well. 

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10. Everything is better with music. This is not so much a life lesson as an observation. While I do not always look forward to making dinner, I have really enjoyed reconnecting with music, both new and old, jazz or pop, while cooking. Some has not stood the test of time (sorry, Alan Parsons and fusion jazz lovers), other sounds as good as new (all hail Steely Dan and Pat Metheny). Some of the newer (at least to me) stuff doesn’t resonate (I really want to like Kurt Vile, but….). Some is terrific (love Father John Misty and Joshua Redman). But the bottom line is that even when the cooking gets mundane, the music makes it time well spent.    

Well, there is my list. Additional lessons from more experienced cooks would be welcome.