We Lose. HORRAY!!

The news of the Indonesian soccer deaths has been horrible. Police cars overturned and set afire. People beaten by police with sticks and shields. Countless others teargassed, seemingly indiscriminately. 125 people dead. Another red-letter day in the annals of sports.

The interesting thing is that supporters of the opposing team, which won the contest, had already been banned from the stadium pre-match, so the conflagration was not caused by fights between rival fans. Nor was it caused by controversial calls. Instead, it was the anger of the home team fans at losing a game, the first loss against this rival on the home pitch in 23 years. Fans flooded the field after the game ended to demand of team management an explanation for the loss. Things deteriorated from there.

I have attested already to my love of sports in this blog numerous times. I am an addict. I turn to the sports page first thing every morning, even though I generally know the outcomes of the games already. I can’t turn off the Phillies, Flyers, Sixers or Eagles, no matter how bad it gets. But I often wonder whether it wouldn’t be for the good of humanity if we just scrapped the whole mess.

For way too many people the success of their favorite sports team becomes a substitute for success in their own life. It’s not just a matter of living and dying with each interception, or goal, but of investing the games with a mystical quality that transcends the players. It becomes a validation, or refutation, of their own existence.

I don’t want to overstate this. Hundreds of contests go forward every day without incident. Fans generally restrain themselves and save their anger for talk radio and social media. However, you get this sense that a more vociferous outbreak is brewing with every loss and disappointment.

The players feed this win at all costs mentality, but with them it makes sense. They would not have gotten where they are unless they had a burning competitiveness. We fans revel in the plays on the field, many of which look effortless, but often forget the hours of practice necessary to make those plays. Those who are unwilling to invest those hours rarely make it, no matter how naturally talented they might be. That drive is what makes them what they are. And yet, we still often see incredible graciousness in loss from them.        

Sports broadcasting takes its cues from the players and perpetuates this win or die attitude. Too many pundits give the impression that unless a team or player prevails in the Super Bowl, or the World Series, they are failures to be derided and mocked. I cringe whenever some talking head quotes Vince Lombardi saying that “Winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing”. No Vinnie, you’re wrong.  

Accepting a loss is one of the most important lessons sports teaches. We do not live in a world where anyone wins all the time. And though it may be banal and cliché, it is also true that the true judge of character is how you bounce back from those losses. There is no shame in fuming about a loss, or throwing a quick tantrum in frustration, but if petulance is all you learn from the experience, then you have trapped yourself in an adolescent world that defies reality.

I don’t think that there is any surprise that the incident in Indonesia was sparked by fans who had not lost on the home pitch in 23 years. Just like a child allowed to win every game, these fans became spoiled. A win wasn’t something to celebrate, but their due in life. The game itself became superfluous, as long as it did not end in a loss. When the inevitable happened, they could not take it.

My favorite moment in my kids long and inglorious sports careers came at a little league game. Ny son’s team was up big early, but blew the lead because they were, you know, kids. After the game their coach gathered them for a talk and asked them how it felt being up by that many runs, then lose the game. One kid, God bless his soul, responded “I feel pretty good”. The coach turned red in the face, gritted his teeth and spit out, “This should be tearing you apart inside.” The kids looked at him like he was out of his mind. Me? I gained faith in the younger generation.

Being a Philadelphia sports fan, I have had more than my share of losing. And while we like to think of ourselves as unique in that respect, we aren’t. The sports world is littered with losers. Ask your friends in Cleveland or Buffalo (or two dozen other cities) about that. The nice thing is that when the wins do come, they taste that much sweeter (like when your team scores 6 runs in the 9^th inning of a playoff game).

The actions of the police in Indonesia were criminal. The actions of the fans that stormed the field looking for a scapegoat to assuage their lost identity were pathetic. Maybe they were used to winning, but, in life, they were losers just the same. Maybe a strong dose of disappointment would force them to finally grow up.     

P.S. Another sports story caught my eye this weekend, one not as tragic, but just as maddening in its own way. Two professional fishermen apparently cheated in the Lake Erie Walleye Trail fishing tournament by loading their catch with lead weights, hidden by frozen fish filets. While fishing lends itself to whoppers about the one that got away, it’s just not a sport you expect this kind of chicanery. Then again, the two cheaters might just throw up their hands and quote Vince – “Winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing”.