It seems odd to write about New Year’s resolutions in November. Resolutions are something done in early January, if they are done at all. Most of us long ago admitted the ultimate futility of such fixed declarations that are unlikely to last through February, if that long.
Part of the problem with resolution carry-through is that such vows are made at the worst time of year. Let’s face it, the dead of winter tends to be a downer. Getting yourself up for anything when it’s dark by 5:00 is hard. Unless your resolution is to watch more TV or scroll endlessly through cat videos (have you seen the OMG cat?), you’re likely to fail.
I cannot deny, however, that there is some benefit to assessing what I am doing, or not, and how I could do better. I know that I should be engaging in such an on-going analysis, and not putting it off until the calendar changes. Doing a daily assessment would be a heck of a resolution, though one that would undoubtedly drive me crazy.
For years the cons far outweighed the pros and I eschewed resolutions. The task of picking out one of my many foibles to focus on seemed futile. Plus, resolutions inevitably include a level of negativity I could do without.
Last year I decided to break my norm and set two resolutions. It has gone surprisingly well. I have not fully met my goals, but I have made progress. I almost hate to set them out, both because hearing about other people’s resolutions tends to be boring and because it seems somehow bad luck. Like announcing your wish after blowing out birthday candles. Still, I have gotten this far, so I might as well dive in.
My first resolution was never to take my phone out unless I have some specific reason for doing so. I was becoming one of those people who cannot stand still for 3 seconds without looking at their phone for distraction. It was as if my brain was afraid of any possibility of introspection.
There are definite reasons for distraction. Left to their own devices my thoughts can head in unwanted directions. I might start thinking about our current political situation and get angry, scaring the people around me. I might start floating off into a daydream and forget why I am where I am. The possibilities are endless.
Yet random thoughts beat random scrolling anytime. Half of what I see on the internet pisses me off anyway. The other half enters and exits my brain cavity, never to be recalled again. These are the epitome of wasted moments.
Besides, not all random thoughts are annoying. I might start thinking about a book I just read or a film I just saw. A tune may enter my head, and while it can be a bother if that tune will not leave, it can also be a prompt to listen to something that I haven’t heard in a while.
Then there is also the joy of taking in the world around me. It’s often mundane, but not always. Its been a gorgeous fall, wonderful to drink in. Philadelphia also has a lot to look at, from its quirky architecture to its quirky people.
I have not fully succeeded in this resolution. My hand still, almost involuntarily, reaches toward my pocket when I stop for an instant. I make excuses to pull out my phone, like I need to check the Sixers box score from last night for the seventh time. As such this remains a resolution going forward, especially if I can use it to stop seizing my iPad whenever there’s a lull at home.
My other resolution was to do yoga every day. I came to the realization that it was much more important for me to be able to bend down without an accompanying groan than it was to chase some illusory increase in strength. Yoga is a way to at least maintain flexibility and there is definitely a calming aspect to the practice.
I have made friends and enemies through yoga. The wall has become a good pal, keeping me from falling down every time I adopt a balance pose. On the other hand, I want to smash the mirrors in my yoga studio, reflecting back what a cow I am just when I think I have a pose down.
Still the thought of doing it every day was silly and unattainable. But I have managed to at least get 4 – 5 sessions in most weeks, which isn’t bad. Whether I have seen the benefits I hoped for is unclear. Regardless, I feel pretty good about it, and that in itself is a big benefit.
That brings me to now, and back to this blog. To say that my entries have been sporadic this past year is generous. They were minimal. I have made many excuses (I don’t want to repeat myself; I have nothing original to say), but honestly, it’s pure laziness. I still like writing, but getting up the energy to sit down at the computer has been tough.
So here goes. For better or worse, I am going to try and grind something out every two weeks. No excuses. The entries may be short. They may be banal and self-indulgent (like this piece). But, if they exist, I will be satisfied.
So back to the original question, why November? Having made the decision to move forward there is no reason to put it off. As the old saying goes, procrastination is the mother of indolence. After all, there is no magic to the new year. So, for better or worse, we’re off and running.