A Pertinent Question

A Mr. Richard Feder of Fort Lee, New Jersey asked, “Hey Tomser! Why do you think we focus on the significance of World War I when the Spanish Flu, starting in 1918, is estimated to have killed twice as many people?”. In response, I gave a typically shallow and glib answer, saying, “I think as humans we are attracted to stories, and the WWI stories are just more compelling than stories of the flu”. As I thought about this more, I realized that this is a material question. Why do certain events resonate in our collective memories and others not, even if they should, and how this has changed over time? 

I read a book a number of years ago (don’t ask me the title) where the author posited the theory that humans had evolved in respect of memory. He claimed that humans had traditionally relied on what they could personally recall to remember what they needed to, and developed the skill to retain it. Now, he argued, humans rely on sources outside the brain for memory storage, changing not only how we access memories, but our actual anatomy.    

I am not sure that I bought the biological aspects of this argument, maybe because they went over my head (which they did). But the idea that we had, to a large extent, outsourced our memories has stuck with me. Whether we like it or not, our understanding of events, and even the importance of events, relies primarily on sources external to us. That is true for things that happen to us directly, where we often rely on such items as photographs, but even more so for things we were not directly involved in.  

Outsourced memory has been a expanding process that went into hyperdrive in the 20th Century. As travel and communication became easier, we all of a sudden had a wealth of information at our fingertips about what was going on not only in the next town, but on the other side of the world. With the advent of the internet, that knowledge could be instantaneous. (For example, a quick search disclosed multiple days of on-going violent protest in the Solomon Islands. Who knew.). 

The problem is that this is more information than any individual can digest. We have access to everything, but must filter the news somehow. We cannot do that ourselves, and so have to rely on sources which we hope are relatively honest and accurate. Those sources must also pick and choose what they cover and emphasize, even within individual stories. 

This conundrum is multiplied when it comes to understanding historic events. For example, there are thousands of books, websites, movies, etc. about World War I, more than any individual, even an obsessive, can absorb. And that is just if we isolate it as a topic. What about everything that led to WWI, like Austria-Hungary’s 1908 Annexation of Bosnia and Herzegovina, or the Moroccan crisis of 1911? And what about everything that followed, like the partitioning of the Middle East, German hyperinflation, not mention the Spanish Flu?  

 So, we are stuck with what comes across our path. What books are recommended to us, what movies are streaming, what internet sites Google chooses to highlight. Those decisions are going to be largely driven by what is accessible and popular, not by what is the most insightful or thorough. 

I recently encountered this with the book The Bomber Mafia by Malcolm Gladwell, covering debates within the American Air Corps about bombing strategies, leading to the incendiary bombing of Japanese cities in the months before the atomic bombs were dropped. Gladwell paints this as a morality tale between two Generals with competing views of the morality of bombing non-combatants. 

It is an interesting, readable book, but, as pointed out in a review by a history professor, is incredibly simplistic. The debate was more one of tactics, not morality, and encompassed many more players than the Generals Gladwell highlights. However, as the Professor also points out, Gladwell’s best-selling take is likely to become the defining narrative of these bombings because of his popularity and the book’s accessibility. A more nuanced history will have to wait, and even then is unlikely to be read by many people.    

This historical culling is also impacted by the fact that the moving image is generally more memorable than the written word. Movies and television play an outsized role in determining what historic events are burned into the public conscious and which are not. This can spark great public debate, as did the airing of Roots in respect of slavery, but can also leave less dramatic incidents out in the cold. 

The other problem with a reliance on moving images is that those making these films and shows are driven as much to entertain as they are to enlighten. This means cutting historic corners. Dunkirk was a movie that sought to depict a key landmark in WWII as realistically as possible. Yet, in watching the movie you would think that there were only about a dozen planes in the sky during the retreat, rather than the hundreds that were there. It was just dramatically more satisfying to focus in on a handful of pilots. History be damned. 

More insidious are movies that get the factual record horribly wrong, but manage to instill those errors in the public conscious. The most notorious of these are, of course, Birth of a Nation and Gone with the Wind. Both are great movies, and both distort the realities of slavery and reconstruction. Both also were hugely influential on how Americans viewed the Civil War for decades (No, Woody Wilson, it was not all “so terribly true”).  

So, back to Mr. Feder’s original question, from which I wandered so aimlessly. Much of what we remember as a society, and how we remember it, is out of our hands. For the most part we have to rely on others to present materials for our consumption and absorption. We can fight this on a personal level by taking in multiple narratives of an event, and by reading historic accounts that may challenge accepted wisdom, but there is only so much time in the day. And even then, that wouldn’t change societal focus. So there we are. Feel better now Mr. Feder?                

Just Let it Be Already*

I am somewhat embarrassed by my obsession with The Beatles. How banal and mundane. When asked what about music, I am hesitant to say that The Beatles is my favorite band, and that I still constantly listen to them. You can see the yawn being stifled, and the usually futile attempt to hold back the inevitable response of “Can you be any more boring?”. 

I have often thought that I need to come up with a more eclectic response. Maybe assert my love of Folk punk (let’s put on some Violent Femmes, or The Pogues), or perhaps Instrumental Rock (tough to beat Jeff Beck, or Soft Machine). Better yet, disavow pop altogether and proclaim my love of Free Form Jazz (wasn’t the Free Form Jazz Odyssey the best part of The Spinal Tap movie?), or classical Futurist music (all hail The Art of Noise manifesto). 

Alas, I am stuck with who I am. I am doomed to listen through the entire deluxe box sets of Sargeant Peppers, The White Album, Abbey Road and Let it Be (The White Album Esher demos are especially good). I was inexorably drawn to an 18 month “Masterclass” in Beatles lore, dissecting every album and controversy. (Did you know that the first British performance of the Beatles as a group was at the Casbah Coffee Club). I get mad when I perceive that my favorite Beatle (George) is being dissed (He was right to walk out!!!!!). 

While I grew up on Beatles music, my obsession really started in college with The White Album. I listened to it over and over again, mesmerized by what I heard (unfortunately, so did Charlie Manson). I and my friends used a pencil to playing it backwards, listening for Paul is dead clues (John definitely says “Paul is Dead. Miss him. Miss him. Miss him.” at the end of I’m So Tired). I bought most of my Beatles albums used, and still anticipate skips in certain songs 40 years later. 

I keep asking myself what keeps drawing me back to these songs. Some of it is no doubt nostalgia (oh no, there’s that word again). Beatles songs certainly evoke memories of a time and place. But then again, so do many other songs and I don’t listen to them repeatedly.  

There is also the complexity of the songs, which reward multiple listenings. The Deconstructing the Beatles series by Scott Frieman (one of my Masterclass instructors) highlights the myriad nuances and influences embedded in these tracks. Those influences have led me other directions, like to an appreciation of Indian music (maybe I can use that as my go to response to questions about the music I like). 

The incredible progression over the eight years of recording is definitely a factor. There are light years between I Want to Hold Your Hand and the Abbey Road medley and yet you can see the steps leading from one to the other. Witnessing that growth is fascinating. 

Finally, there are the Beatles themselves. There personalities were established in A Hard Day’s Night (the best rock and roll movie ever), and built from there. Few have faced the glare of fame with as much humor, honesty and aplomb. Knowing those personas, even if it is through the lens of media, enhances the performances.         

All of this is coming to the fore now because of the long anticipated (at least by me) Peter Jackson retelling of the 1969 Get Back sessions. I have watched the official trailer and all of the various promotional videos many times. I have read every interview I could find about the making of the documentary. I cheered the expansion from a 2-hour film to a 6-hour extravaganza. I am ready!!    

I saw the original Let it Be movie at midnight showings when it was still available. I never bought into the narrative that it was a film of a band breaking up. After all, Abbey Road followed. I am looking to Peter Jackson to set the record straight.  

Peter Jackson could not have been a better choice. While still best known for his Lord of the Rings, he vaulted to my list of favorite directors with his WWI documentary, They Shall Not Grow Old. I have mentioned this film before when discussing my preoccupation with WWI. It is the epitome of bringing the past alive, and I trust him to bring the same magic to this film. 

More than anything else, this will be a chance to wallow in my obsession. I can spend multiple nights devoted to my favorite band, and justify it as witnessing a cultural event. Even if, for public consumption, my real love is Psychedelic Soul or Acid Jazz, there is no need now to hide my latent Beatlemania. I can put on my mop top wig, John Lennon glasses and Beatle boots and scream to my heart’s content. I can’t wait. 

*This was actually written before Get Back premiered on November 25, but I got caught up in holiday planning (I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving), and have been in a bit of a tryptophan haze over the last couple of days.

Get Back to Where You Once Belonged

I seriously dislike the word nostalgia. It is a musty word. A word that connotes clothes that have been too long in a cedar closet. Or a gumball covered with lint emerging from your pocket. And yet, if you keep it in the right context personal nostalgia can be both incredibly enjoyable and illuminating. 

I spent ten days over the last two weeks engaging in some personal nostalgia. I visited friends from my college days at the University of South Carolina, and then went to Charlottesville, Virginia to spend time with a close friend from my working life. The trip was very gratifying, not least because it was good to be on the move again after the COVID isolation, but also because it forced me to think back on who I was at specific times of my life and how that long ago self still inhabits who I am today. 

Life generally forces us to live in the present. There are so many things that must be dealt with on a daily basis that it is not possible to give much thought to our past iterations. Even when we do so, it tends to be very cursory, calling to mind a memory here or there that makes us smile, or cringe. We (or at least I) rarely think hard about the odyssey that got us here. 

Immersing myself in that past, even for a few days, forced that reflection, especially as my trip entailed many hours alone in a car with a cell phone that would not recharge (just try to find a decent radio station outside Fayetteville, North Carolina). The memories flooded back. I conjured up people I haven’t thought about for years, even though I often could not recall their names. I thought of times that were great fun, as well as times of great guilelessness and stupidity. The person I was seemed both a distant relative and a boon companion. 

Spending time with lifelong friends takes you down that rabbit hole even more. People often comment how very quickly you fall back into comfortable patterns of communication and interaction with old friends. How a part of you that you haven’t seen for some time reemerges. I find that very true.  

I think, however, it is more than just a passing dive into nostalgic revery. The person I was 40 years ago has never left me. The essence of who I am today is tied very closely to who I was then. The so-called formative years were not only childhood, but each swerve along the path, through college and law school, into the early years of working up to my last days before retirement, all leading up to where I am now. 

That doesn’t mean that things haven’t changed. It’s impossible to go through life, with its many twists and turns, and remain exactly the same. I know that fewer things strike me as funny than once did, and I miss that. I also know that I was ridiculously naïve and innocent, and while innocence may seem like a blissful state, it is unsustainable, and not even preferable, unless you’re willing to put your head in the proverbial sand.  

Regardless of those changes, falling back in old rhythms for a while strikes me as very healthy. It reminded me that, even now, personality is not static. Time never stops, and neither does our development. I continue to build on the edifice (shaky as is) of what has gone before. Who I am is an on-going question that is never fully answered. 

Just as important, it is great fun. Being able to kick back and relax with people who have seen you at your best and worse is cathartic. You’re able to pull out refences that make sense to no one else (e.g., the trestle, home run derby, Fencourt), and riff on them. And there is nothing to do but laugh at yourself and the silly things you did. 

Testing memory is, of course, a mixed bag. Many incidents come rushing back, but how many of those incidents are as I recall, is very up for grabs. Did I really do the things I think I did, as I remember doing them? Maybe yes, maybe no.  To what extent am I editing my history? Who’s to say. My friends’ memories are as suspect as mine, and luckily there were no cell phone cameras in those days to resolve any discrepancies. 

All that being said, I would not want to live in that nostalgic haze. The temptation to do so is why nostalgia has such a negative connotation. Memory has a tendency to whitewash the past. I remember much more of the good than the bad. It is dangerous to get too caught up in that and see the bygone days of youth as some idyll. The reality of the present can sour in the glare of such a fantasy, and that is a living death. 

The truth of the matter is that I would not want to go back. There would be too much to give up. For all of the ups and downs of the last 63 years, there are still things to look forward to. And while the past inhabits who I am today, it is no longer me, with all my flaws, anxieties and regrets, but also with all my hopefulness (still somewhat an innocent) and excitement about each new day. 

I know that I am going to keep connecting with old friends. They are just too important to discard, and too much fun to be around. Plus, in a way I can’t really define, looking back at the past helps me appreciate what I have now. It’s a very odd process, this thing called life.    

            

We Need the Weird

The induction ceremony for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame went forward on October 30. While I generally think that the whole concept of a Rock Hall of Fame is anti-Rock and Roll, and suggests little, if anything, about rock greatness, I still like to see who is being inducting and who is left out. It’s especially interesting now that most of the obvious inductees have been in the Hall for quite a while.   

This year’s inductees are a typically mixed bag. I am glad to see Tina Turner make it, especially when the Hall inducted a much less talented and influential Stevie Nicks a couple of years ago. You have to admire Todd Rundgren, though his overall output is spotty. I enjoyed the Go-Go’s, but did they do anything after Beauty and the Beat? Not that I know of. 

With the inductions come the inevitable complaining about Hall snubs. Kiss member Gene Simmons called it disgusting that Rage Against the Machine and Iron Maiden didn’t make it this year. Personally, I think that it’s disgusting that a band like Kiss, better known for their faux-goth make-up and Simmons ginormous tongue than their music, is in there.   

To my mind, there is one snub that outweighs them all. One snub that pushes the Hall to the edge of irrelevance. One snub that should make the current inductees blush with shame. I am, of course, taking about Weird Al Jankovic.  

Starting with the immortal My Bologna in 1979, through 1986’s Fat, 1993’s Bedrock Anthem and 2006’s White & Nerdy, Weird Al has provided us with some of the most unforgettable rock anthems of the last 40 years. Can any of us listen to Nirvana’s Smells Like Teen Spirit without picturing Al trying to sing with marbles in his mouth on Smells Like Nirvana? Isn’t the Dire Straits Money for Nothing that much better with Al’s converting it into a tribute to the Beverley Hillbillies? 

Some may complain that Al doesn’t write his own songs, but that ignores his incredible polka output. Who else can find the common polka heart in such songs as LA Woman, Smoke on the Water and Hey Jude as Al did with the Polkas on 45 masterpiece? And let’s face it, Bohemian Polka more than rivals Queens Bohemian Rhapsody for audacity and musicianship.  

I am the first to admit that Al’s career has not been without controversy, but isn’t that part of Rock stardom? I do wonder whether his continuing snub is tied directly to his squabble with Coolio over the exquisite Amish Paradise. Apparently, Coolie did not appreciate the brilliance of this piece (who else can write lyric’s like “I’m a man of the land, I’m into discipline. Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin. But if I finish all of my chores and you finish thine, Then tonight we’re gonna party like it’s 1699”), and took affront. But similar controversy’s (alright, maybe not similar) have not kept Ringo Starr (33-year-old men shouldn’t be singing You’re Sixteen, Richard) or Genesis (Nice Latino accent on Illegal Alien, Phil) out. 

Many of you may think that I am kidding about this nomination, but I am not (or at least not entirely). Rock and Roll is at its worst when it gets pretentious (the same can probably be said about this Blog). And that is from someone who is a big prog rock fan (Yes to Yes). Weird Al is the antidote to that pretention. 

Let’s face it, for all of the hullabaloo about rock stars being artists, 90% of rock lyrics are downright inane. The Hall already has plenty of examples, such as “You say ‘black’ I say ‘white’. You say ‘bark’ I say ‘bite. You say ‘shark’ I say ‘hey man ‘Jaws’ was never my scene’” (Queen, Bicycle Race) or “Bonafide ride, step aside my johnson. Yes I could in the woods of Wisconsin”. (Red Hot Chili Peppers, Around the World). Weird Al’s “Have some more Yogurt. Have some more spam. It doesn’t matter if it’s fresh or canned. Just eat it. Eat it! Eat it!” is no less frivolous than “Showin how funky and strong is your fight. It doesn’t matter who’s wrong or right. Just beat it (beat it, beat it, beat it)” from the King of Pop. I could go on, but you get the point. 

Faced with this kind of junk from feted artists, we need someone to confront the silliness. We need someone to step up and cleverly point out again and again that rock and roll is something to enjoy. Something to bop your head to. Something to bring a smile to your face and a bounce to your step. And Weird Al is that man. 

There is no place on earth that needs this lesson more than the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. They want to be the gatekeeper to the realms of rock royalty. But the whole concept of rock royalty is heretical. At its heart rock is a bunch of kids in a garage banging away on their instruments trying to come up with something that their parents will hate and people will dance to. Weird Al embodies that spirit like no one else. 

There’s my argument. Next year we must all unite to get Al into the Hall. Only then will it fulfill its mission to truly reflect the essence of rock and roll. It’s drive. It’s joy. It’s power. And, yes, it’s wackiness. It’s daftness. It’s zaniness. All hail Rock-and-Roll. All hail Weird Al Yankovic.              

Our History, Right or Wrong

I originally wrote this post about Critical Race Theory over the summer, but then I thought it was just too trendy. Another nothing issue for people to vent over before it disappears into the night. I should have known better. We are now a country where almost anything, no matter how flimsy, can be whipped into a political issue, and then then flogged to death by fanatics. After reading an article about a Wisconsin school board recall effort, and the centrality of this issue in the Virginia Governor’s race, I decided to revisit the topic.

My guess is that I am not the only one who had never heard of Critical Race Theory until this past spring. In fact, my guess is that most of us still could not say what it is, where it came from, who is propounding this theory, or what it teaches. And yet, it has become a rallying cry. A line in the sand that supposedly separates wholesome historical thought with Anti-American propaganda designed to destroy love for this country. Whatever it is, we cannot let it infiltrate our schools to pollute the minds of our youngest citizens.

You would think that CRT is a newly developed idea that was concocted by bitter, out of touch academics over the last couple of years. In fact, according to Wikipedia (the font of all knowledge) CRT originated in the mid-1970s in the writings of several American legal scholars. The core insight of CRT is that disparate racial outcomes are the result of complex, changing and often subtle social and institutional dynamics rather than explicit and intentional prejudices on the part of individuals (how’s that for an academic mouthful). In other words, merely making laws colorblind may not be enough to insure that application of those laws is colorblind as well. Of course, CRT is much more nuanced than that, but that’s the gist. 

Considering the prevalence of race as a driving force in the history of this country, CRT would seem essential to an understanding of the United States. At a minimum, we need to think critically to counteract two of the great historical lies of the 20th Century. First, that the Civil War was not about slavery, but instead about states’ rights, and its corresponding fantasy that Reconstruction was an utter failure which proved that Black Americans were unfit for full participation in American political life. 

The second great lie is that race was a Southern problem, and not one in the North. Discrimination in areas such as employment and education obliterate this false dichotomy. In fact, a strong argument can be made that CRT is more important in analyzing what was done in the North than in the South. Southern politicians were clear and unapologetic about the Jim Crow laws and their purpose. Northern politicians were more subtle, but the racial impact of laws in Northern states was just as profound.       

Enforcement of drug laws over the last 50 years could be exhibit number 1 for the need for CRT. The laws themselves are race neutral, yet enforcement has impacted the black community to a much larger extent, despite the fact that study after study shows there is little disparity between illegal drug use by Afro-Americans and other races. The disparity is in enforcement. Who is targeted. Who is prosecuted. 

The failure of a change in laws remedying the effects of long term discrimination is most evident in housing. The Fair Housing Act of 1968 prohibits discrimination in housing, yet it is battling against Federal, State and Local policies that specifically sought to segregate on the basis of race. The Fair Housing Act could not simply wipe that history clean, nor could it fully change ingrained practices with a stroke of the pen. If we don’t understand this history and its continuing impact, such as in respect of the 2008 sub-prime mortgage debacle, we don’t understand this country.

There is no surprise that such critical analysis has been a staple of academia for years. Isn’t that what should be happening at universities? Shouldn’t Professors be looking deeply into their field of study to understand the underlying realities of their specialty? Shouldn’t that be as true in history and law as it is in physics and biology? 

More importantly for this debate, there is no evidence that this theory has permeated elementary and secondary schools. While slavery and its impact is, and should be, taught, school curriculums are highly unlikely to delve into issues of systemic racial impact. One wonders whether the real goal is to eliminate any discussion of this uncomfortable topic.   

The scope of proposed laws banning the teaching of CRT would seem to back up this as the real agenda. For example, Tennessee’s proposed anti-CRT bill would ban any teaching that could lead an individual to “feel discomfort, guilt, anguish or another form of psychological distress solely because of the individual’s race or sex.” In addition to this vague proscription, it restricts teaching that leads to “division between, or resentment of, a race, sex, religion, creed, nonviolent political affiliation, social class or class of people.” Those who decried PC culture as raising a generation of hyper-sensitive snowflakes are now worried about their children’s “discomfort” and “psychological distress”. Give me a break. 

Of course, this debate is not about fields of research, but about controlling narrative, and continuing a never-ending manufactured culture war. The irony is that efforts to pass laws that ban the teaching of CRT reinforce the need for critical thinking in all areas of study. We need an electorate that can analyze what is being proposed, why it is being proposed and judge the ramifications of its passage into law. That can’t be done without critical thinking, whether it’s to analyze idiotic proposals like anti-CRT legislation, or crucial ones like the rebuilding of our infrastructure. Heaven knows we can’t rely on our politicians, or our TV pundits, to provide real analysis. 

Even though the European sojourn in the Americas is a small part of world history overall (500 years within 6000 years of recorded history), it is one of the richest and most unique aspects of the human story. It has incredible highs (the Declaration of Impendence; the Lewis and Clarke expedition; the Civil rights movement) and incredible lows (the slave trade; the Trail of Tears; Japanese-American internment). It is an incredible story of mankind’s quest for human, religious and economic rights. It teaches endless lessons about the nobility of that quest, and its pitfalls. To the extent that we try and pick and choose within that history what makes us feel good about ourselves, and white-wash anything that makes us uncomfortable, we denigrate those who, with all their flaws, espoused the ideals that make this country what it is. And that is the real crime.              

Is it us?

I was not going to write about Ben Simmons. No way. No how. It just wasn’t worth wasting my time on a whiney, underachieving, pig-headed athlete. Then Ben decided to show up to play, kind of, and resume his place on the team, kind of. As confused as I am as to where this stands, I just couldn’t pass it up. 

For those of you who are not Philadelphia sports fans (like my kids), Ben Simmons is the “superstar” point guard for the Philadelphia Seventy-Sixers. At 6’10”, he is one of the most gifted athletes you would ever want to see. When he is on his game, he moves with a grace of a Persian cat. He is also a hardnosed defender in an era when defense is overlooked. 

Ben, however, has his issues. He refuses to shoot from outside, which allows teams let him alone to guard others. He also has a tendency to get tentative and disappear in the midst of a game. This all came to a head in last year’s playoff loss to the Atlanta Hawks when Ben not only failed to assert himself when the Sixers needed him most, but he also became a target for the Hawks to foul because he couldn’t hit the broadside of a barn from the foul line. It was a disaster. 

We all hoped that Ben would take this failure to heart and acknowledge that he needed to work on certain aspects of his game, and commit to coming back with a vengeance this year. Instead, he went into an immediate pout, stomped his foot, declared that he never wanted to play for the Sixers again and demanded a trade. It was if the Sixer management and fans had been sitting on the sidelines blowing as hard as they could to send his shots off-line. After all, the problem couldn’t be with him!! 

This is twice within the last year that Philadelphia has suffered through star athletes stinking up the joint and then acting as if it was someone else’s fault. Carson Wentz was historically bad as quarterback of the Eagles last year, to the point where he had to be benched, if only for his own safety. Yet, when it was all over, he refused to acknowledge how horrible he had played, pointed fingers at everyone else, and demanded to be traded. Sound familiar?  

There have been suggestions that the responsibility lies with the much-maligned Philadelphia fans. That we are too tough on those who play here, as if they just need love and tenderness to achieve (the little dears).  Well, if that’s what they need, they are right. They are in the wrong place. Philadelphia demands that its athletes take responsibility for their play and seek to improve. I would have it no other way.   

For those that do play hard, Philadelphia fans are some of the most supportive in the country. If players show grit and determination, we cheer them on. We can be incredibly forgiving and uplifting where we see an athlete admit their failures, and then bear down to succeed next time. That’s why many athletes who played in this town will tell you that there is no better place to play (ask Mike Schmidt).  

This is really about the modern, pampered athlete. It is not enough to be paid gobs of money. Some players also seem to think that they deserve to be endlessly feted no matter what they do. All of them will tell you how much they love the fans, that is until the fans look to hold them accountable for their foibles. Then the fans are all cretins (which admittedly may are).   

This aspect of modern sport is only going to get worse. Kids are being scouted younger and younger (the University of Florida just gave a verbal scholarship offer to a 14-year-old quarterback). I wonder whether the new round of “stars” will develop the grit needed to withstand the pressures of fan attention. That grit comes from being challenged at every step of the way. If we skip that step there will be consequences.   

I do want to be careful. The pampered description above does not fit most professional sports figures. The Ben Simmons of the world, with their obvious unworldly talent, are the minority. Most athletes work incredibly hard to get where they are, and are so darn competitive, that they take setbacks to heart. We just see the finished product and so concentrate on the innate talent. We ignore what it takes for most to nurture that talent. 

I also understand the desire of anyone to be somewhere they are wanted and appreciated. We all want that. But you can’t cut corners to get there, especially if you’re in the public eye. You have to earn it, and keep earning it. That’s true generally, but maybe more so in Philly. Again, I would have it no other way. 

It will be interesting to see how the fans react if Ben reappears in a Sixers uniform. Initially there will be no doubt be a chorus of boos (and Philly fans can boo like no one else). In fact, if you’re sitting in the lower level for the first game, you might want to wear a hard hat. But if Ben takes that booing as a challenge and asserts himself the way we know he can, those boos will quickly change to cheers. 

That being said, I have seen nothing to suggest that Ben has it in him to accept that challenge. I think he will keep his head down, avoid the media, and continue to push to be traded out of Philly as fast as possible. If that’s the case, happy trails Ben.        

I think that I shall never see…

Things change, and that change is inevitable. We know it, and yet we form relationships with what is around us that is bound to make that change painful. That is, of course, most obvious with the family and friends. But it’s not limited to people. We form relationships with other objects, whether we want to or not, and often those relationships have a strength that is not so obvious, but is no less real. 

This was brought home to me over the summer when we had a mini tornado whip through our neighborhood and take out three of the trees in our front yard. (Yes, a mini tornado. And it wasn’t the only one in this area). I knew that I was attached to those trees. I knew that they formed an important part of the property that I have called home for the last 25 years. I just was not aware of how emotionally invested I was in those trees until they were no longer there. 

When we first moved into this house the lot looked a lot different than it does now. I scoured through hundreds of old pictures to see if I could find one that showed our house back then, but no luck. Even though we have picture after picture of times and places that I cannot recall, we don’t have any of the haven we always came back to at the end of the day. Some things you just take for granted. 

Without a picture, you are just going to have to satisfy yourself with the artist’s rendering below. As you can see, there were four giant oak trees shielding our house from the street, as well as a good size tree on the side and a scraggly little tree near the house. There was also a hedge leading from the sidewalk to the front door. 

The hedge was the first to go, and no great loss. Then we took down the tree on the side of the house because it was clearly rotted out. I don’t remember why we took down the first of the four oaks in front of the house, but the second went after we heard a very loud crack in the middle of winter and found the tree basically split in two, but still standing. We had no doubt what the next crack we heard would mean. 

Still, that left us with a nice symmetry (See artist’s rendering number 2). The two remaining oaks bracketed the lawn, providing ample shade and maintaining the feel we had when we bought the place. There was definitely a sense of loss with the other trees, but the feeling of home was intact. 

Then the tornado hit. Even though our neighbors heard the tree go, we did not. Will and I were home, but we were looking out back at the golf ball size hail (which broke a window). We didn’t hear the cry of “timber”, or feel the ground shake. (If a tree falls in your front yard and you didn’t hear it, does it make a sound? YES, IT DOES!!!!). Then we looked out front and saw the damage.

The result was three trees gone, and a very different looking landscape to our property. The import of this began to hit me when the storm passed and the neighborhood emerged to survey the damage. I was in a bit of shock, and hadn’t really taken in what had happened when I saw a little girl, probably in 4th or 5th grade, embracing the fallen tree and crying. You see, the corner where this tree stood is a bus stop for elementary school children, and the tree was the center of the kids play while they waited for the bus. 

It wasn’t just that tree either. I heard one of the kids who had gathered wail, “Oh no, not the climbing tree too.” That was the tree that stood next to the oak. It was just perfect for scrambling up. Strong, low branches. A nice medium height so you could go up pretty far without feeling too afraid. My heart contracted when I heard that because that was what my kids called that tree too, and I didn’t know that neighborhood kids saw it the same way.  

Now the left side of my yard is wide open. The sun steams unchecked toward my house in the morning, which is OK, I guess. But it feels so empty. So unfinished. As if there was a puzzle piece or two missing and lost forever. I do a double take every time I step out the front door.  

I am also struck by the sense of impermanence. The shading of these huge trees was a big part of what made this “home”, and home is something you think will always be there to return to, no matter what. I know that’s really not the case, and I have left homes before. (Try going back to the house you grew up in. It seems alien). But I think that desire for a base in there in all of us. 

Last of the Big 4

There is also that sense of loss that comes with the disappearance of something you know so well. How many times have I leaned against that tree? How many times have I wound around its roots while cutting the grass? How many times have I stood in its shade talking to neighbors on a hot day? It was so much more a part of me than I ever realized. 

We are looking to get a new tree to fill that corner. It is just too bare as it is. Below are some suggestions made by a landscaper. Any thoughts? There are certainly some I like, but no matter what we choose, it will not be the same. That feeling of a haven has left the building.       

Coming out of the Closet

The following is a post by guest blogger, Gregg Swentor. Go to it Gregg!!!

First off, let me thank Tom for the opportunity to have this space to finally come clean. I have had a few things I have wanted to get out but never had the space. All I had to do was ask.

OK, let’s start with the marginalization I have felt since high school. The year was 1972. My girlfriend and I were returning from a coach’s house where we just had a great dinner and conversation with he and his wife. We were rumbling along a back country dirt road in rural Vermont in my 1969 Jeep Wagoneer. Beauty, eh?

We came around a soft bend in the road and off in the distance we saw a ‘streetlight’ up on the distant hill. Y’all know the scenario; a long sloping downhill, then a long sloping back up to the distant top of the next ridge. “Oh my! I can’t believe it. They installed a streetlight out here?!? “, I laughingly said to her.

For a few seconds the light just hung there and then . . . . went DOWN the hill in front of us, then came right UP at us. It came up at us at eye level. It then zoomed right over our heads; enough for both of us to instinctively duck. Helicopter? Jet? Ball lightening? Sorry. No sound. No woosh of air. No crack of electricity. There was no way we could not have heard or felt something as it just barely missed the hood of my car. This object traveled 1/3 of a mile in the blink of an eye. We both looked at each other. She asked if we just saw what we just saw. There is no way it was earthly. This was not the last of our strange experience that night but it will suffice for this post.

This sighting has shaken my intellect. Never did I feel comfortable telling most folk of this experience. Even though we both had become intellectual, successful people, there had been times when I called her, or she called me, just to confirm our far-out memories of that night. I suppose, at times, we both felt we had dreamt it all.

It wasn’t until years later (2020) when I was able to see the object again. This time from the camera of a US Navy F-18. They called it an “unidentified aerial phenomena”. Yeah, me too! Been der, done dat.

“My gosh!! Look at that thing! It’s going against a 120kt headwind.”

Look, it’s time to come clean. Damn it!
N=R fpnelifcL (Drake), Damn it!


HA!! We’re not alone out here on our little blue marble in the Milky Way. We’re an F’n Disneyland.

“Come on folk, lets travel to the planet we touched thousands of years ago. It’ll be fun!”

So, back to me. Isn’t that what this is always about? I had an event which blew this dudes mind. I have a hole in me that needs to feel expressed but feels I’ll be ridiculed to no end!
I want to feel normal again. Help me Agent Jay. Hit with me with your Neuralyzer!

So, why do I not just put myself out there? Maybe I should make my lil drawing of the UFO & fish and make it into a bumper sticker? What’s holding me back?

The answer, of course, is fear. I was afraid to put myself out there. I got intimidated by the posers outside of me; my job, the company I kept, my social status, my own friends and family. I endured THEIR conspiracies, their lies, their ignorance, their self-righteous opinions blown over the loudspeaker. But me, and mine? A wussy. Pleeaase don’t laugh/see/talk to me about my deep dark shit.

Maybe it’s just the maturing of my inner self to be strong, or it could just be an ole man ‘git off my lawn’ moment. Nevertheless, it’s time to put myself out there. It’s time to quit hiding because of my fears of what others think of me. My complicity has taken a toll on me. But no more!

I recently saw a poll where those who believe Pres. Biden stole the election has increased in the last month. INCREASED!! How can that happen? I know why. I was silent. I was afraid. I let the bullhorns do the talking. No, not even talking…LYING! And yet, I sat quiet and grumbled to myself. I sat waiting for someone else to clean up this mess. I was afraid of the confrontation. I wanted us all to ‘get along’. I doubted my own worth. Hmm.

But no more !!

I’m coming out…

I saw one.

OK, you can scoff now

Talkin About Boys

I was taken aback by a Wall Street Journal article that popped up on my Facebook feed recently. First, because the article said that men make up only 40.5% of current college students, with trends suggesting that the percentage will get even lower. And, second, because something noteworthy actually showed up on my Facebook feed. (Must click on 20 Celebrities Who Were Bad People in Real Life).   

According to the Journal (which I never read), women made up 59.5% of college students at the close of the last academic year. Six years after enrolling, 65% of those women earned their degrees, as opposed to 59% of men. Overall, US colleges lost 1.5M students over the last 5 years, with men accounting for 71% of that decline. A pretty dismal picture for those with the Y.  

I am struggling to understand what is behind this trend. I can appreciate why the number of women getting degrees has increased. It wasn’t that long ago when career opportunities for women were limited, and while the glass ceiling still exists, at least now the doors to the atrium are open, and the ceiling itself has significant cracks. It makes sense that women are taking advantage of those opportunities. 

We as a society have also encouraged women to fulfill their potential. Over the last 20 or so years there has been a push to let girls know that they can achieve and succeed in whatever field they choose. For example, the Journal cites the proliferation of support groups for women on campuses across the country, helping women thrive in college once they are there. 

All of that was needed to rectify historic inequalities. But how does that explain boys’ failure to continue to take advantage of the opportunities they have? It isn’t as if increasing access for women means that men are now cut off from academia, or are being shut out of the job market once they graduate. According to the National Center for Education Statistics, 89% of men 25 – 34 graduating from college are employed, as opposed to 83% of women, and the long-term earning potential of those with degrees continues to be significantly higher for those with a college degree. So, it isn’t as if college has become a waste of time for men.  

Are boys put off by the increased competition? Are they so used to having the upper hand in the battle of the sexes (God, I hate that phrase) that they are not willing to even try now that the playing field is leveling? That seems too facile an explanation. I don’t see a generation throwing up its hands because others around them have the same ability to achieve their goals as well. If that’s the case, it would be pathetic. 

Maybe the whole idea of setting goals at 18 is the problem. It is axiomatic that girls mature faster than boys (certainly seemed that way to me growing up). Perhaps boys are just not responding as well to a world where college is so expensive that going in with only a vague notion of where you want to be four years later is riskier, and girls are better equipped to handle that pressure. But that seems too simple. How many 18-year kids, either boy or girl, know what that want out of life, and when has that ever been an excuse for not pushing ahead anyway?  

The Journal suggests that boys have more distractions now, with the prevalence of video games and on-line porn, and that may be having an impact. Statistics do show that boys are more likely than girls to be gamers, and the same is undoubtedly true for on-line porn. However, there have always been distractions. Before the internet and gaming there was TV. I know there’s a difference, but I find it hard to believe that gamers are that much more obsessed, though I must admit that I am not willing to totally dismiss the internet as irrelevant.  

I do wonder whether we, as a society, are properly encouraging boys to succeed. We have focused on making sure that girls know that they have a wide field of achievement ahead of them, but are we doing the same for boys? The Journal article cites a counselor at the University of Vermont who proposed a men’s center for the campus similar to women’s centers, but he couldn’t get the funding because, he says, the boys were still considered the most privileged group on campus, and therefore not in need of such support. While that has been historically true, the numbers suggest that it still may not be the case. 

Let’s face it, every kid needs a boost. Especially now. We cannot forget how difficult the teen years are. How self-doubt is an inevitable part of the landscape. How the future can seem a void. How the idea of matching the things that our parents have provides little incentive. That sense of hopelessness seems to have gotten worse, and unless we counteract it by positive reinforcement, it can be infectious. Women have done that over the last 20 years, so it is possible. 

The other response to this trend may be, so what. After all, the balance was the other way, and much worse, for many years, and we didn’t seem to care. Why should we now? Is concern about women achieving academically more than men, just repressed misogyny?   

I don’t know the answer to that question. I just know that as a man who has always loved learning, and the father of boys, I am concerned. I don’t think that we can afford to leave potential on the table, whether it’s from boys or girls. I also think that we are better off with a society where everyone is incentivized to rise to their potential. Maybe those are silly, utopian, notions, but they are mine.  

The Sunset Anew

I have to admit that my 20th Century heroes are those you would expect from an aging, left-wing, pacifist. The exception to this predictable litany is J. Krishnamurti, someone most people have never heard of. But for me he has been, and is, a touchstone that I have looked to for the last 40 years. 

Krishnamurti had a very unique childhood, to say the least. In 1909, when he was in his early teens, Krishnamurti was “discovered” by Charles Webster Leadbeater (his real name), a leader of the Theosophical Society, as the likely conduit for “Lord Maitreya”, a spirit periodically appearing on Earth, as the “World Teacher” destined to guide the evolution of humankind. (I thought that about myself at age 14 too, but no one seemed to agree).  

The Theosophists were a quasi-religious group founded by Madame Blavatsky (such great names!!!) that combined eastern and western thought, with a good bit of occultism mixed in. They were new age, before there was new age. They also had a lot of money and, probably because of that, influence.  

Krishnamurti was raised by the Society, becoming the legal guardian of one its leaders. For the next 15 years he was groomed to emerge as the harbinger of spiritual unity and global wisdom. The Theosophists thought that they had found their guru. 

While all of this sounded great, Krishnamurti had other thoughts. When he was 29, he shocked the Theosophists by, in essence, denouncing the whole idea of a world teacher. He said instead that “Truth is a pathless land”, rejecting organized religion, including Theosophy, gurus, and the very idea of a teacher/follower relationship. Instead, he said that people had to look inside to free themselves of the conditioning we are subjected to by our upbringing and culture so as to view the world with unvarnished eyes (easier said than done). 

When I first read Krishnamurti I was drawn to his courage in rejecting a role that would have guaranteed him a comfortable and revered existence. I was also drawn to his call to unstintingly look inward to examine drives and behaviors, and to honestly confront what you find. Ironically, perhaps, I found much to learn from this reluctant teacher.   

One of the Krishnamurti’s mantras was his admonition to stop the internal dialogue, that voice that mediates what we see and interprets it for us. He used the example of a sunset. We go to the beach and see a magnificent sunset and are awed by its beauty, so much so that we want to return the next night to relive it. The problem is that we have built up this expectation and the next night cannot help but compare the sunset we are seeing at that moment with what we saw the night before. Our thoughts stand in the way of us seeing the second sunset in all its glory. Our built-up expectation skews our vision.  

I thought of Krishnamurti, and the vagaries of expectation this summer on a trip my family made to Indiana and Chicago, along with Julie’s sister Beth from Boise (has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?), and two of my nephews. Even though Indiana is not known for its hiking, and we hadn’t had much luck on previous trips, I wanted to get out and at least enjoy a decent walk while we were there. This led us to Turkey Run State Park, hardly a promising appellation, about an hour west of Lafayette where we were staying. 

Then we got to the park, and the hiking trail. We took a bridge across a broad stream and were transported into a world of small creeks, lush canyons, boulder fields and large rock formations. It was as beautiful a hideaway as you could find. Even better, since I had no expectations whatsoever, it was doubly delightful. Like opening a gift that you had no inkling you would receive.  

A couple of days later we were in Naperville, outside of Chicago, and went to the Morton Arboretum, a beautiful expanse of forests, ponds, prairie lands and sculptures. As we wandered about, we saw numerous signs for the “Big Rock”, out on the edges of the grounds. We decided we could not leave without taking the short trail down to this “Big Rock”. 

After a 20-minute walk on an easy trail, we emerged into a clearing and collapsed into gales of laughter. The build-up was such that we expected to see something magnificent. What we got was a decent size boulder, that could not but fail to impress those of us used to traipsing the trails of Pennsylvania, let alone the mountains around Boise. It turns out that the “Big Rock” is apparently an anomaly for the region, and should not be there, but my expectations made that meaningless.  

In both of these incidents, despite my readings of Krishnamurti, I could not let the world come to me, but let expectations dictate my reactions. At Turkey Run, it worked out fine. At Morton Arboretum, not so well. My inner dialogue was conditioning my response, for good or ill, rather than what I was encountering.  

Of course, this happens pretty much every day, whether it’s while watching a sequel, or reading a second book from a favorite novelist, or just going to the store. When I can corral the internal dialogue (stopping it is more than I can ask for) and just accept what’s given I am more likely to see something I had previously overlooked. Sometimes it’s good, like Turkey Run, sometimes it’s disappointing, like the “Big Rock”, but at least I am confronting what is there rather than what I presuppose is there.  

There is no great insight here, or deep thought, just an on-going reminder that I can miss out on so much if I don’t look at the world as it is, rather than as I expect it to be. Not a bad lesson from an unwilling teacher.